FICTION - The Last Mugging

Published Feb. 23, 2074, 12:56 p.m.

Fraser Carver, 23, of Toronto, was sentenced today to five years in jail in connection to his 2072 mugging and assault of Ted Elsey.

With time served taken into account, Carver will spend another two years and three months incarcerated for his role in the event, which is being described globally as “the last mugging.” When the crime and arrest originally occurred, two years ago, talk show hosts and newspapers around the world joked about the event.

Financial crimes, such as this, have become a rarity since Canada’s move from fiat currency to bitcoin. Detective Marnie Dufton’s press release explained:

As the Toronto Police Service’s Financial Crimes specialist, most of my responsibilities involve presenting at conferences and discussions of historical interest. The vast majority of financial disputes these days are civil matters. I was surprised that a financial crime had occurred, then floored that it was a mugging. Initially, I was concerned that this was some criminal mastermind who was pulling a stunt by committing a crime thought to be impossible. Mr. Carver turned out not to be a criminal mastermind when we associated his identity to the blockchain transaction, followed him to the convenience store where he made a purchase afterwards, and arrested him just 43 minutes after the crime was committed.

Yet, Dufton does not agree that this crime should be treated as a joke. “Mr. Elsey did sustain minor injuries and has gone through a traumatic experience. The assault occurred because the victim had trouble understanding what Mr. Carver wanted. He didn’t even understand being under threat of violence should he not comply with Mr. Carver’s hostile demands. After the assault, Mr. Elsey transferred over two million satoshis to Mr. Carver.”

At the sentencing, Judge Charles Foran admonished the accused, stating, “Your lawyer has put forward the argument that the pointlessness of your crime absolves you and shows your lack of mental capacity. I reject this argument. Although you failed to anticipate the consequences of your actions to yourself, you clearly understood their impact on your victim. Whether or not your lack of intelligence is relevant, your predatory actions are not a joke to me or this court.”

Later on the day of the assault, arresting officers returned the 2,158,531 satoshis taken from Mr. Elsey. His physical injuries were treated at St. Michael’s Hospital.